Monday, April 25, 2011

Confessions of ……. Well, You try and pigeonhole me!

There is so much I want to blurt out. Most of it not polite, though I don’t see why people can’t accept the truth and get on with it. The world would be a much better place for it. As I am anonymous here, well ok! Kind of anonymous (not many people read this blog!), I feel kind of safe to say what I really want to say, or ok.. Confess! (LOL! for all of you expecting something lurid, go away now!)

As a proud Indian (After all we bit the crap out of the Aussies!) I am not loath to admit that I am , what you might say (to be politically correct) a racist! Oooh!!! cringing eh? I call it , calling it as it is, but you may call it what you want. I am a Kutchi Memon from the beautiful city of Hyderabad, For all of you ignorant ones out there, let me enlighten you, Kutchi Memon’s are the people for whom the classic Indian sayings, “kanjoos makhi choos” and “chamdi jaye par damri na jai” (roughly translated, a person who sucks a fly dry after it drops into their tea and a person who rather lose a bit of their skin than lose a penny. Well ok, does not sound too awesome in English, but we all have seen Lost in Translation right). And well, the Hyderabadi Urdu/ Hindi has inspired a whole genre of movies… but am I embarrassed? NO! am firkin proud of it! So get on with it people, be proud of your heritage and who you are!

As a lady driver I think I am entitled to say, I detest lady drivers! (ok Mom, don’t kill me), especially those who have their breakfast while driving or treat their rear view mirrors like their personal boudoirs. Seriously, could you not have woken up 5 minutes earlier??

I am not ashamed to say it, I LOVE Kerepok, I could eat it three times a day, five days a week and still want more. Stay away if you don’t like the smell.

I love taking the LRT to work every day, but seriously, could you please take a bath and brush your teeth before you take public transport? God made humans discover soaps, perfumes, tooth paste and mouth wash for a reason.

And as for all you lift farters… the less said the better (that way I don’t have to inhale)

What is it with Malaysians and air cons? (Have I already ranted on this before? well, there’s a lot more that can be said). I come to theatres to enjoy the movie, not to relive the lives of those who live within the artic circle. And while we are on the topic of movies, why can’t ALL theatres have salted popcorn?

Is there a reason why PR wannabe professionals want to give this profession a bad name? Do your research idiots! you don't send a lingerie fitting invite to a male editor and says he MUST come over! and when we send our regrets, don't reply saying that you will miss him at the event! For GOD Sake!

As you might have noticed, I love using !!!! marks. Why NOT? I am a person who believes in what she says and I have the freedom to use ANY punctuation I want, so if you are prejudiced towards the poor, innocent and yet so expressive ! go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it with people and short forms? I received this text message the other day, “ Dr Nzn, I nd u2 prnt sprt act sprdsht n brng 2 cnt mtng”, No I am Not a Doctor, neither am I a New Zealander , neither do I do porn and neither do I have anything to do with faeces. Damnit, it took them hundreds of years to perfect this language, don’t go and ruin it now!

Despite all my cribbing and ranting, I love Malaysia. I love the way I can experience nearly the best of all the cultures. the Yee Sang and oranges during CNY, the Kuihs and rendang during Raya, the murruku all year round, the smoked Salmon, the cured Mackerels, Sushi, Sashimi.. yummy! Now I am hungry and it’s all your fault!

Off to search for some awesome masala dosa now!

Adios Amigos

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